Iedereen draagt zijn eigen rugzak

Ondanks alle aandacht en liefde die je je kind(eren) geeft, valt opvoeden niet altijd mee. Veel ouders krijgen te maken met lastig gedrag van hun kind. Soms raakt je kind oude pijn van jou, waardoor jij emotioneel op het gedrag van je kind reageert. Je hebt je eigen verwachtingen of een partner met andere ideeën over opvoeden. Wil je zicht op wat er onderliggend speelt? Dan is een individuele opstelling misschien iets voor je.In een individuele opstelling werk ik alleen met jou als ouder. Een opstelling brengt helder in beeld wat er op een diepere laag speelt. Het geeft je inzicht in wat je kind nodig heeft en wat jij als ouder kunt doen. Voor je kind en voor jezelf.In elke familie zijn er gebeurtenissen zoals ziekte, werkeloosheid, ruzie, scheiding, e.d.. Hierdoor kan een gezin uit evenwicht raken. Uit loyaliteit voelen kinderen zich onbewust verantwoordelijk om te helpen de last van (voor)ouders te dragen. Dat is niet hun taak en kan leiden tot emotionele uitbarstingen, gedragsproblemen of lichamelijke klachten zoals buikpijn (met stip op nummer 1 bij kinderen). Elk familielid draagt zijn eigen rugzak en kan niet die van een ander dragen.Het gedrag dat een kind laat zien, is altijd het gevólg van iets, niet de oorzaak. Dat gedrag komt ergens vandaan. Je kinderen zijn de “alarmlichtjes“ van een familiesysteem. Als zij “aan” gaan met opvallend of lastig gedrag, dan duidt dat meestal op een verstoring op een dieperliggende, systemische laag. Een opstelling kan deze verstoring in beeld brengen, zodat deze zichtbaar en voelbaar wordt. Deze erkenning zal rust en ruimte brengen, waardoor alle gezinsleden terug in hun eigen kracht -met hun eigen rugzak- komen.

328 reacties

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