Emmeline Bennenbroek | Hypnotherapie
Hoe jij mee mag veranderen met je kind
Om angsten bij een kind te transformeren is niet veel nodig. Zeker bij jongere kinderen (onder de 10 jaar ongeveer) werkt hypnose fantastisch snel om een opgelopen trigger te veranderen.
De belangrijkste uitdaging ligt in het mee laten veranderen van de omgeving. Want juist deze jonge kinderen zijn nog zo nauw verbonden met hun ouders, zo afhankelijk en loyaal, dat hen dit kan ‘verleiden’ weer in het oude gedrag te vervallen. De omgeving verwacht al dat het kind bang wordt of angstig reageert op bepaalde situaties. Uit loyaliteit zal een kind geneigd zijn onbewust aan deze verwachting te voldoen en het oude gedrag opnieuw aan te nemen.
Een kind weet soms niet eens meer hoe het was om in bepaalde situaties NIET bang te zijn. Dat hoorde bij hem. Dat is heel begrijpelijk en een logische reactie. Dit moet zijn eigen systeem ook echt even verwerken.
Het is belangrijk dat de omgeving ook meegaat in de overtuiging dat het veranderd is. Dit is een heel belangrijke bewustwording. Als je blijft praten over hoe het voorheen altijd ging trek je het kind terug in dat oude gevoel. Het kind mag na de hypnosesessie eerst het nieuwe gevoel echt gaan ervaren en beleven. Daar kan het alle steun bij gebruiken.
Voor ouders is dit soms wennen. Je bent er zo op ingesteld om je al zorgen te gaan maken voor wat er gaat komen of juist proberen te voorkomen dat het ‘mis’ gaat. Terwijl het juist helpend is om de oude verwachtingen los te laten. Dus niet voorsorteren op situaties waarin het misschien ‘fout’ kan gaan en daar al naar handelen. Vertrouw erop dat je kind hier stappen in zet en straal dat vertrouwen uit. Dit kun je al doen door het eigenlijk geen onderwerp te laten zijn. Heb het er gewoon niet over. En als hij ergens angst ervaart steun je hem vanzelfsprekend hierin, zoals je ook bij andere kinderen zou doen.
Realiseer je dat jij en je kind samen een ‘systeem’ zijn. Jullie zijn op elkaar ingespeeld. Dit is heel logisch, natuurlijk en vertrouwd en in veel situaties juist een steun, omdat jullie weten hoe de ander (onbewust) reageert in bepaalde situaties. Omdat jij ook onderdeel was van de situaties waarin hij angstig was, kan dit hem triggeren in oud gedrag.
Reageer bewust zo neutraal mogelijk, negeer het onderwerp ‘angst’ en praat over andere leuke dingen. Humor wil vaak ook helpen!
En tot slot: roep bij jezelf ook dat gevoel van rust en vertrouwen op. Wanneer voel je dat? Stel je die situatie voor en wentel je om in dat gevoel. Als jij rustig bent, kan je kind daar van tanken.
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